Sunday, July 21, 2013

THE SMALL THINGS I GUESS

My day is ending where my week will begin - a nice hotel (I lie, a five star hotel w a lot of somebody's walking around) in the meat packing district of Manhattan. One of our offices is close by. I chose here because they live dogs:


I'm across the street from the Kate Spade new store that just opened this weekend - I just walked Kirby by the Christian Loubitian (sp) store and the shoes I've been admiring forever are in the front window. A known actor (older) was at the check in counter and said to me "Do I know you?" (I was wearing my Jackie O sunglasses in doors???) to which I said "NO" in an unfortunately rude tone. 
The sun glasses were to hide my sallow face. But in a place where there seems to be a lot of somebody's I suppose a woman with her dog, sun glasses and a casually understated outfit draws attention. Back in the day I would be having a moment. But right now?  Simply wondering when the hole in my chest will stop aching. 

(Over looking thee place to be...)

I get into the elevator with Kirby - a group of kids follow me in - drunk - going to the penthouse - penthouses here are 10-15k - she asks me to come party with them - I say (with my sunglasses still on in a near pitch black elevator) what's the occasion? She is turning 26. I avoid the urge to burst into tears and begin a rant as long as the holland tunnel. Instead I feel compelled to blurt out the fact that I  am 42 (Wtf I'm still 41!?) bad form.Thank goodness they were too self involved to care.

Some external pleasures pale to the deeper longings of our heart. 



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