FIRE

I nearly burned down my yard this evening. Yeah, so everything is status quo over here. I was BBQ'ng chicken - I have a 30 foot leash that I put Kirby on when I'm in the front yard. Are you getting that feeling? Getting a sense of the pending disaster? Fire. Dog. Me.?

Yeah, so dog is on leash laying in yard. Chicken is on grill. Flame is on medium high. For like 40 seconds I was in nirvana - it's dusk, the fire flies...seemingly peaceful...why it didn't occur to me that this was the perfect time for something to go wrong is beyond me.

A lady walking her dog heads up past the yard with her basset hound...Kirby pops up alive and eager to greet (chase) the basset hound....I hadn't noticed he'd wrapped the leash around the legs of the grill which sits at the edge of the patio near the LUSH GARDEN FLOWER BEDS WITH TALL SEA GRASS....Mmmm'hmmm. Dog runs leash pulls grill flat back onto the ground. I attempt to pull the grill up but can't - I reach for the gas knob and think I'm turning it off....but of course I'm only turning it higher....all the while yelling at Kirby to "come here" but he has his nose up the basset hounds rear and can't hear me. I'm trying to reel him in however the other dog owner must be on enough Zoloft to take down Manhatten because all she can say is "it's ok.....he's friendly...how cute...wow that smells good...what are cooking..." I say several times words like "fire" and "help" and "grill" peppered with words like "FUCK" but miss Zoloft isn't feeling the heat....she can't understand why her basset hound is pulling towards my patio with all his might...apparently she didn't see the yellow brick road of chicken breasts across my yard..."wow he really wants to play with your dog..." Meanwhile Kirby is sitting there staring at Mr. Basset Hound like "dude your not really going to eat that are you? It's on the ground??? And it's only partially cooked." Meanwhile the flower bed is suspiciously beginning to smoke.

Unbelievable...but let's be honest not really right?